Craig Wiseman

I've been working on this list for some time (please suggest any additions!) . I posted a version of this a while ago.

You know you're from Louisiana when


1. You look both ways before crossing a one way street.


2. When a truck drives by spraying poisonous chemicals into the air, you don't get irate and call the EPA. You happily/maniacally think, "Die Mosquitos, DIE."


3. You know that Tigers do indeed eat Bull Dogs, wild hogs, wild cats, roosters, high-ranking Navy officers, elephants, even genetic nightmares like a combo War Eagle/tiger/plainsman, and especially Sooners and Trojans!


4. You take advantage of the fact your license plate lets you use the handicap spots when visiting other states.


5. You (in your heart - be honest) think the Saints really will do it this year*.


6. You use several cook books and "Wild Kingdom" reruns when planning your meals.


7. You can't give directions without referencing I-10 (or I-20 for those yankees in north Louisiana)...


8. You like to be able to plot your natural disasters on a map - and use friendly first names to refer to them.


9. You have "monthly generator maintenance" on your calendar.


10. You know that a blinking turn signal is more a reminder of things past than a predictor of future events.


11. You're asked in school to name the Trinity and you reply, "The onion, the celery, and the bell pepper."


12. You realize you've got more MRE brown spoons than real metal spoons in your cutlery drawer.


13. You can easily justify a Hummer or other SUV because of the brutal off-roadlike conditions you encounter every day - when you pull out of your driveway.


14. You don't have to hide your football schedule when planning your wedding date.


15. You know the proper way to spell "Y'all".


16. You don't eat lobster because you know it's really a crawfish on performance-enhancing drugs (like Barry Bonds).


17. You know that purple, green & gold look good together.


18. You see a store called "Christian Armory" and it doesn't faze you a bit.


19. You've watched the movie "Deliverance" and thought it lacked vision.


20. You know how to say Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches, Opelousas, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and New Orleans (w/o the long E)


21. You think a drive through Daiquiri Shop is a "duh" - obvious concept.


22. You have fond memories of body-temperature Rum/Whisky (ok, any flask-able alcohol that mixes with Coke).


23. When someone asks if you want a Coke, you can answer without thinking - "Yeah, a Diet Barqs, thanks!"


24. You understand the significance and relationship between WD-40 and Duct Tape.


25. Your (and your children's) favorite bedtime story starts: "First, you make a roux..."


26. A BMW isn't a status symbol. A Ford F-350 4WD Super Duty Lariat Extended Bed Crew Cab Dual Rear Wheels Power Stroke (6.8L 10cyl) is a status symbol.


27. You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands. From your grandmother. And you're fine with that.


28. It wasn't until you were in college that it occurred to you that folks in other parts of the country don't normally drink out of Mardi Gras cups at home.


29. You look at family reunions as dating opportunities.


30. You've eaten way more sno-balls (by volume) than you've ever seen of actual snow.


31. You've always assumed the Mason-Dixon line is just north of Baton Rouge.


32. You learned bourre' the hard way - holding yourself upright in the crib.


33. You know exactly how many items you can plug in to your generator without killing it.


34. You're at a birthday party for 11 year olds, and they name the Pinata, "FEMA".


35. Your daily paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6+ pages for sports.


36. You feel really sad for other parts of the country when you go to a 'parade' and they don't throw useful items like cups, beads, doubloons, footballs, moon pies, bras/underwear, etc.


37. If it starts raining, you cover your beer (not your head).


38. You tried (and failed) to give up Tabasco for Lent.


39. You know the two seasons - Summer & Fall/Spring.


40. You tried (and failed) to give up Tony's for Lent.


41. You know what the proper menu for Monday dinner is.


42. You pull over to let ambulances get in front of you - you know the fastest way to get where you're going!


43. You're not sure which is the passing lane (left, right, or shoulder), but you're dang sure it's not the one you're in going 35mph!


44. You don't remember exactly, but it seem to you that the state bird is the Mosquito.

*For the record, the Saints will do it this year....

Comments (5)
Craig Wiseman October 13th, 2008 03:20:10 PM